As I sat (not knitting!) in front of the computer and waited and looked at ravelry's wollmeise forum, the screen turned grey like this. The time stamp is 1:54 EDT.
Apparently the thing to look for nowadays is lace yarn, so I must have had less competition. I got a skein of 100% superwash sock yarn in aurora colorway, which is red.
35 minutes later, the shop was empty. Intense!
I had little trouble getting through, but fortunately no one took my yarn, and it's on its way to me. It wasn't as hard as I was imagining. Now I get to wait for yarn! yay! Good thing I held back last night. :)